Reenergizing Your Marriage

Twenty-four years ago on this day, June 20th, 1992, my long cherished dream came true. There I stood at the altar, at the age of thirty-six, waiting for my bride-to-be to become my wife forever. The joy and ecstasy was almost more than I could contain. On that day, for me, I took a major step in making the most of my life. 

I knew early in life that I hadn't been given the gift of singleness. But as the years passed I began to wonder. Was I doomed to be single--forever? In the beginning it had nothing to do with standards or being too picky. It had everything to do with being shy, backwards, insecure, socially unadjusted, or whatever you want to call it. But as the years passed, it became more about viewing marriage seriously. Marriage is a sacred union and divorce is a painful, expensive, and especially for the children involved, a devastating nightmare. This makes finding someone with similar values, minimum baggage (we all have some), and a personality that brightens your day when your world turns stormy and lightens your load when your problems are many, an essential, but difficult, task.

But then, at an unplanned dinner and an unlikely table, I found her. Suddenly she was seated next to me. The seating arrangement was no accident. I attended the dinner because a former classmate talked me into buying a meal ticket. But when I arrived, he and his wife were providentially absent. When I spotted a former classmate, I sat down at his table without noticing the tent card to my left with the name Laura Hampton on it. Providence had determined that the future Mrs. Laura Hampton Fleming should be seated next to me. The higher powers that be, meaning in this case, the Chairman of the Alumni Committee, had decided that each Alumni officer (Laura was the Alumni secretary), should sit at pre-assigned tables. I give thanks to all who helped bring me and my bride of twenty-four years together. 

One of the keys to long marriages is thankful spouses. Are you thankful for your spouse? I certainly am. But what is thankfulness? It's being thinkful. No I didn't misspell the word. We can't be truly thankful without giving thought to the good that has touched us through the spouse who has loved us. Last night, my wife and I revisited our wedding. We spent time reminiscing about the pre-wedding preparation, the wedding itself, the reception, and our honeymoon. With wedding pictures in hand, we did this, not at home, but in a special place we discovered recently. It's called the Plantation House, near Greenville, Ky. This beautiful mansion was all ours from 5:00 p.m. to 11:00 a.m. the next morning. 

New things, new places, and new perspectives can add new energy to relationships. Cards, flowers, candies, meals, and special nights in special places are worth every penny spent in comparison to the cost of a troubled relationship or a devastating divorce in an uncharted future.  

Marriages are like cars. They can be a blessing when they run smoothly, or a curse when they don't. Cars, trucks, and  marriages need maintenance from time to time. Amazingly we don't hesitate to take our vehicles for an oil change, or tire rotation. It's a necessary expense. But what about our marriages?

The best way to keep our marriages running smoothly is by making sure that the main aspect of marriage flows smoothly. For the car it's all about the engine and oil, but for the marriage it's all about the relationship and love. Are you committed, not necessarily to each other, or to the marriage, but to doing the things that keep your love for one another alive? If love dies, so does the relationship. If love thrives, so does the relationship. The dates, the words, the notes, the sacrifices, all the things we did when dating, are the same things that can reenergize our relationship. Healthy relationships make for healthy marriages.

In the end, you can make the most of your life by making the most of your marriage. Don't let your relationship tank run dry, your battery run down, or your love grow cold. Reenergize it, refill it, and re-lubricated it, and be ready to reap the benefits from it.