It's Not All About You

"It's not all about you!" Those words caught my attention. They were simple, yet profound. Anti-modern, yet very true. Rejected by many, but needed by all. Like salmon swimming upstream, they go against the currents of today's individualistic philosophies. But they are essential to relationships -- all types of relationships. They are a must for child rearing, spouse caring, and political progress. Without them we will never get the most out of life. Without them our families will become dysfunctional. The government will become deadlocked. Our nation will become a never ending battleground for every self-centered group, flooding the courts with lawsuits, social media with propaganda, and the streets with protesters, all demanding their rights or promoting their causes, with one over-arching goal: the accommodation of any and all unrestrained, uninhibited, self-focused desires, wants, or wishes.

Some simple Google searches, a few hours of media streaming, or a page or two of statistics will bring several truths to light. It's already happening. Although not all, many families are dysfunctional, fractured, and falling apart. Our government is deadlocked to such a degree that voters don't care who they elect as president, as long as he or she will shake up the status quo. Special interest groups are constantly in the news and ever before us demanding their unreal rights, special privileges, and unreasonable accommodations.

Call me an alarmist. Brush me off as an extremist. Label me an old-fashioned, Biblical literalist, who's living in the dark ages, but please don't ignore my words or the current national and global events taking place, and especially, the storm clouds that are gathering on the horizon. Our nation is headed down a dead end. Our families are self-destructing. And time is running out. 

If we fail to embrace and employ these words and this principle, that it's not all about us, the storm will descend, the devastation will occur, and we will become like salmon that fail to swim against the current. No upstream journey equals no salmon spawning. No spawning equals no salmon. If we silence these words and dispose of this principle, our next generation will cease to exist, not as a people, but as a functioning society -- as a democratic nation.

We need to rediscover these words. We need to reinsert them into our vocabulary. We need to embrace them mentally and display them physically. For the sake of our children, they need to hear, we need to say, and all of us need to believe this vital principle: "It's not all about you." And it's not. It's not all about you, and it's not all about me, or anyone of us.

Bee communities, ant colonies, and wolf packs -- all understand the benefit of community and the dangers of individualism, but we highly evolved homo sapiens are giving evidence of devolution. The values we once treasured and the principles we once taught are now considered outdated and unacceptable.

We need to right the ship and return to the basic building blocks of a well ordered society. Why? Because it's not all about you or us. This also invoves the church. We need to teach our children about God and tell them about Jesus' love and sacrificial death, but that's not enough. If we fail to warn them about the sinfulness of self-idolization, and effectively communicate to them the truth of otherness, they will never become effective, positive, culture-change agents that our world needs and all followers of Christ are meant to be. We are called to be salt and light to a dark and sometimes bitter world.  "You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people’s feet.  You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden" (Matthew 5:13-14 ESV).

Our younger generation will never fulfill God's desire for them if they don't embrace this truth. "Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others" (Philippians 2:3-4 ESV).

Churches divide, families split, and nations fall because they don't believe, teach, and practice this truth: "It's not all about you." My generation understood this. We had family chores, a family car, a party phone line, and one TV shared by all. We didn't get trophies for sports participation, or passing grades for just trying. My siblings and I didn't demand our way by throwing an "I want that" temper tantrums or hold our breaths (my cousin, however, used the breath-holding maneuver very effectively), to get our way. If we did, we discovered the pain of uncontrolled emotions and unchecked desires.

Ted Cunningham

"It's not all about you." These society-nurturing, future-preserving words, all-important words, were spoken at the General Baptist Summit in Bowling Green, Kentucky, this week by Ted Cunningham from Branson, Missouri. He's a pastor who's written several books on marriage and child rearing. Ted emphasized the importance of husbands and wives having alone time, despite the demands of raising children who want all of our attention. He stressed the importance of dads and moms showing their children that life is not all about them. They need to see that mom has a special place in dad's eyes and dad has a special place in mom's eyes.

Children who learn this principle won't grow up to be adult adolescents, wanting much, but contributing little. Unfortunately, we already have a nation full of immature adults in the form of demanding employees, constantly complaining customers, and many unappreciative, but very incendiary citizens. We may be too late, but if we don't at least try, we doom ourselves. We must try to lead our families and friends to a state of other awareness. Be aware of the needs of others. Be concerned about the needs of others. Be willing to help strangers along the way. And most of all be willing to say that which the world fears and the church must say: "It's not all about you."

In actuality, the truth of the matter is -- it's not at all about you or me. Mature Christians believe, and rightly so, that in the big picture, life is not in the least bit about you or me. It's all about Jesus. We make the most of life and get the most out of life when we come to understand that Jesus is what life is all about.